Sometimes I feel like I have no purpose. And sometimes I feel like it's wrong of me to feel this way. To be a believer and still ask these questions.
"What is my role in the church?"
"Am I needed here?"
"Why do I exist?"
It's not that I don't actually know the answers to these questions.
My role is to serve and encourage and be in fellowship.
Yes, I am needed.. Every part of the body is important.
I exist for God's glory, to worship Him.
But sometimes, I don't FEEL the answers. Sometimes I do feel useless, lost, wandering for my direction in life. And that isn't wrong.
And today, when I was leaving work to rush to Jr High to be a leader I had the thought which creeps in every so often that says, "Why are you even doing this? It's not like you're doing anything useful."
I quickly dismissed it and figured well, i guess we'll just let this night determine if I want to continue.
At our church we have "Encouragement Sunday" which is the first Sunday of every month, where on a little bitty card we write a quick encouragement to someone we choose and the church then sends them to those people. Well, the church sent a few I got to my parents house, not mine and my mom sent them to church tonight with my sister. When I got them, one was from the Jr high girls that I had tried to reach out to but didn't feel was going anywhere. She wrote,
"I am having so much fun in youth group! It is fun when I get to say my bible verses with you. I hope to see you next week!"
And that was all it took for me to realize: there's a reason I am here.
And I was there this week because even though I felt like I didn't want to do it anymore, God had different plans, and got to talk to this girl for a while! She even said all her bible verses to me again. We talked about a book she was writing, and she had me read it.. It was just a great time of bonding.
That led me to thank God for answering a doubt in my mind that I maybe shouldn't be helping with Jr. High, which lead me to realize something else: God's timing is absolutely perfect.
If those encouragement cards had been sent to my house and I got them a couple days earlier, it probably wouldn't have meant so much. But satan tried to tell me tonight that I wasn't doing anything in the church and should stop serving, and God, who is absolutely awesome and huge and loving knew exactly what I needed at exactly the right time to shut up that deceiver.
Not to mention, at jr high tonight, we had 2 kids make decisions to follow Christ. ANGELS IN HEAVEN ARE REJOICING AND SO AM I!!! It was absolutely incredible to see God working in their lives, and to hear about it.
I am so thankful for them.
I am so thankful for my church.
I am so thankful for Jesus Christ.
