Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Shhh.. Listen

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply ~Steven Covey




How true do you think this is? 

Listening is something I've been thinking about for a long time. Often times at work I listen to people. Honestly, people aren't that interested in what you have to say. So, I listen to other people rather than talk. They tell me about their families, their problems, etc.. And I don't mind listening. But sometimes, when I have men and women who are old enough to be my parents or grandparents, I often think, "Shouldn't they be listening to someone my age? Don't they care?" Because it's seems like people are so engrossed in their own lives and their own problems, they don't have time to listen to others. We say a quick, "Hi, how are you?" and we throw out a "Good." Sometimes you get an "okay" or a "not so good" but nobody ever digs deeper, which is something I think we all wish someone would do. 




So often conversations are like competitions: 
"Oh today I went to that new stor-"
"Oh, yep, I've been there! It's really grea-"
"Yeah, I loved it too."
It's like, we never let people finish their sentences half the time. So often I've listened to these conversations and wanted to look at someone and say, "LET THEM FINISH TALKING." So often I cut people off and then I have a war in my head saying, "Emily! You should have let that person finish ya jerk!" 




I've thought of some reasons why we don't listen:
- We all want to show off with what we have to say. Like a competition, if they've done something, we want to tell something that we have done.
- Sometimes we don't know what to say and it would be awkward if we didn't say anything, so we just fill the awkwardness by talking and talking about ourselves. 
- We just don't think about it
- We don't genuinely care what other people have to say

But here are some of the benefits of listening:
- Think of prayer time- we should be listening to what God has to say. We should be alert to the sound of birds, the sound of the wind, the sounds of children laughing, the sounds of His beautiful creation.
- There are hurting people everywhere, who need a listening ear.
- You feel better at the end after having listened to somebody 

When I was in Africa our leaders always said, "You have one mouth, and 2 ears. Which do you think you should be using more then?" the answer isn't "My mouth to make up for only having one!" it's your ears, because you were given two to listen. There will always be people who talk a lot- heck, I run my mouth all the time. But I've found the more rewarding times to be those when I have chosen to listen to my friends and family. I've learned things I never knew- I've cared deeper than I thought I did- and I've been slower to speak causing more Christ-like responses and actions following. 

So yes, this is just as much one of my issues. I'm not blind to that fact. But I hope and pray that I, along with you, will be more genuinely interested in what people have to say instead of what I have to say. You can learn so much by just listening. I'm not saying that we should never talk to others or participate in two-way conversation, I'm just saying.. As believers in Christ, let's make a better effort to listen to others, to be more selfless, to be more loving.. You never know what can happen if you just listen more.

"Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger" James 1:19


Thursday, May 23, 2013

Are you authentic or accepted?

I'm currently reading Every Young Man's Battle , and although the book is veered towards sexual purity, I really like one point they bring up.. It says this:

"Question: What's your aim in life- authenticity or acceptance?
What's the difference between those two? To aim for acceptance is to live your life by the question, 'How far can I go and still call myself a Christian?' You want to seem to be a Christian, but you also want to be accepted by your friends at school and in the youth group, without seeming weird or fanatical. Authenticity requires a different question, which can be stated like this: 'How holy can I be?'"

This is a question that as believers we all need to examine in our own lives.

Often, it's hard to find authentic believers, whether it be in our church, our school, our jobs, etc.. Authenticity is rare. I can't tell you how many times I've been shocked to hear Christians I know justify their cussing, their sexual impurity, the movies they watch, and several other things that break my heart.

Because you see, we as believers SHOULD be authentic. What other way is there to be a follower of Christ? Christ was authentic in everything He did, and we strive to be like Him, so why do we find wiggle room to justify things we say and do?

See, the world is enticing. But if we are believers in Christ, we are not of the world. Our lives should show a huge difference in the way that the world lives. The world lives for instant gratification whether through drugs, sex, alcohol, acceptance, glory, etc..

John 4:13-14 says, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." The reason the world desires instant gratification is because they are STILL THIRSTY, because they have not tasted our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is all-satisfying. Once we have tasted and seen who God is and how good He is, we no longer want to say, "How far can I go act like the world and still be "cool" and still be a Christian?" Our question will simply be, "How holy can I be for a perfect and all satisfying God?"