Ahhh, feels good to be blogging again.
To be honest, my spiritual life has felt very... dull... recently. I wish I could say, even though it's been dull, I've been faithful. Ashamedly, I can't. I know that I need to be more diligent in my bible studies and prayer.
However, I can say that the times I've taken the time to dig into God's word, I've been amazed. Currently I'm going through the gospel of Matthew and was challenged through the stories of Jesus actions through healing, hanging with the pagans, and His words of life He spoke to individuals as well as crowds of people.
But here's what's challenged me:
So in chapter 9 all kinds of awesome stuff goes down. Jesus heals a paralytic, rebukes the scribes, calls the disciple Matthew to follow him, he hangs out with the pagans and says one of my favorite things ever: "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means. 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.' For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."[Verse 12-13]
Later on A father asks Jesus to put his hand on his daughter, that she may live again and a woman who had "suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years"[Verse 20] sees him and says to herself, "if only I touch his garment, I will be made well." To which Jesus turns and says to her that her faith has made her well, and she was instantly healed. Then after this, two blind men came to him crying to have mercy on them.... and this is what Jesus says in response, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?"
"Do you believe that I am able to do this"
That made me really stop. And highlight. And think. And underline. And think. And pray.
They eagerly respond "Yes, Lord"[verse 28] and Jesus then touches their eyes and says that according to their faith they are healed.
"Do you believe I am able to do this"
If I was to look at my life, whether it be with finances, spiritual growth, prayer requests, desire and dreams and goals, relationships, whatever it may be, and then I think about Jesus asking me, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" I am ashamed. Because sometimes, I don't think I do believe that. Sometimes, I have the audacity to think that I am worth more than I am and that in my own strength I can do it, and I don't need God.
My doubt says that maybe God can't do that on His own and my pride says, "Hey, I can though!"
See, when I'm in charge, I have security. When I surrender to God, He's in control and that scares me sometimes.
But Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God. When God asks me "Do you believe I am able to do this?" He desires i respond "YES!" with faith. That doesn't mean it will turn out how I want, or how I think it should be.. But that it will turn out how HE wants it to be and how HE sees fit.
And when I look at who I serve: The Creator, the Sustainer, the Savior, Love and Justice Himself.. I know that believing He can do this, and trusting He will do it best, is what's not only right... It's comforting too.
Do you believe He can do what you are praying for, reaching for, working for?
Because He can.
